The Gang’s high school reunion never did go quite as they had planned. I mean, either they are megalomaniacs with no sense of their social worth or they were so deep into drugs that they never quite caught on to how much everyone else sucked.
Hey, high school reunions can be tough… Especially when you’re not as cool as you thought you ever were back in the day. I wouldn’t know anything about that, since I was obviously the coolest kid in my high school. But thank God, I’ve got The Gang to show me just how awful high school can be for some.
Last we left The Gang, “The Cool Kids” had just wedgied the shit out of Mac, Charlie, and Frank before shunning a stunned Dennis and just barely made it to the cool table Dee after it was discovered that they were associates of Cricket. #@$%in’ Cricket. Once a crackhead, always a crackhead.
Sad that the biggest takeaway from this episode is that no matter how long it’s been since high school, people barely change. And while The Gang was proactive in its quest to reach the zenith of social acceptability, they were never going to get invited to the party. It’s probably better that way.
When Dennis has had enough of Dee’s attempts at remaining cool by making fun of the former fat kid in school, “Fatty McGoo”, who I should mention is no longer fat, the real fun starts. Kind of like a horror movie sideshow train wreck that we’ve all come to expect, we watch as Dee comes back to Charlie, Mac, and Frank begging to be a part of “The Freight Train”. It’s as frightening of a prospect as it sounds — led by the homicidal maniac that was Psycho Pete. A real goon squad.
Of course, you can’t join the club until you’ve been initiated.
How much do you think Mac enjoyed wedgie-ing his real life wife? I mean, just look at that smile on his face!
Dee The Aluminum Monster in tow, The Freight Train just needs its conductor. This is where Dennis comes in. After being rejected by Tim Murphy’s hot black wife, Dennis goes all Carrie up in this bitch.
Screaming obscenities and grabbing “his tools”, Dennis is frightening and gives The Freight Train a little scare by pulling out what looks to be a bonafide rape kit out a secret compartment of his car. Zip-ties, duct tape, camcorder, gloves — looks like a rape kit to me. Trust me, I’m an expert.
But hey, whatever, there’s Cool Kids to maim.
“Make way Freight Train coming through.”
“We don’t do the toot-toot… It’s just not what we do.”
With The Gang all amped up, they run into “The Cool Kids” pretty quickly. Of course, they don’t fight. They’re “in their thirties”. They don’t fight people anymore. “It’s kind of pathetic”. Touche.
Luckily, there’s always Plan B.
Plan B was probably the most awesome thing I’ve seen this season. It captured The Gang perfectly and was so on the money that it was almost perfect.
Great ending to another great season of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
See you later, bitches!